Erin+Marie

SECTION 1
"He's gone. My best friend in the entire world is gone. He walked out into the street carelessly when a screeching car came by. I ran toward him in what seemed to be slow motion. I screamed so loudly for help, but no one came. Drew was the person who got me to wake up every morning. He was always good to me. I loved..."

"CUT!!!!!!! I'm just not feeling it,Nikki," said the director. "You just lost the love of your life in an accident and you're not even crying. You're supposed to be Sammy Kinkle, a girl who doesn't know what to do with her life!!!"

The director patted me on the back and told me to take a break and rest easy. He said to come back when I'm ready to play the real Sammy Kinkle. "I can't believe he said he wasn't //feeling// it!!" I slammed the break room door shut. I called my mom to come and pick me up from the studio.

I'm supposed to be the main character in "He's Gone", the movie, coming out January 1st. I've nailed every other scene in the script, except this one. I can't fake cry or or pretend I'm hurt inside. The reason is because my dad died in a car crash last year. It was hard to get through, but my mom and I made it. Now watching the supposed "Drew" get runover in this scene, all my sadness comes back.

"What is up with you?" my nagging mom keeps saying. I just tune her out. "This is the third time I've had to pick you up this week. You've got one chance to live up to __//**OUR**//__ dream of you being an actress and you're blowing it. Are you listening to me? This isn't like you Nikki Tyler Borge!"

My mom only calls me by my full name when she's frustrated; like any other mom. "Mom like I said, I'll get over it. It's temporary. It will be gone soon. Just get off my back, //dude//." I started to laugh at my own lame joke, but looked at my mom. She wasn't laughing. She didn't talk to me for the rest of the night. I ate dinner, watched some television, then went to my room. I started to think about the night my dad died. I was just in a fight with him because he wouldn't let me go to my friends party.

"But all the kids at Lindel Middle School are going to this party. Why are you doing this to me? Why are you ruining my life? This isn't fair!!!"

"I don't know the girl's parents and I definitely do not know who's coming. So you will stay home tonight with your family and you will be pleasant. End of conversation!"

He slammed the front door closed. I was so mad at him. My mom went outside to give him his car keys. He was so furious he forgot his keys. When my mom opened the front door, she screamed. My dad got runover by a screeching car.


 * Section 2**

I decided I needed the supersized Ben and Jerry's container. My best friend Tory and I eat Ben and Jerry's ice cream when one of us is depressed. In this case the depressed one is definitely me. So today, after being ignored by mom all night, Tory came over with two supersized Ben and Jerry's containers. She listened so well as I poured my depressing life into her hands. She kept nodding and nodding and never interrupted me once. Tory is the person to talk to when you need to vent. She really knows how to make someone feel better. Just when I was feeling ready to go to the studio, the nagging I'm-not-going-to-talk-with-you-all-night mom came downstairs.

"Oh great." I muttered under my breath. Mom hates my habit of eating Ben and Jerry's ice cream. She says it's, and I quote exactly, an unhealthy way of expressing my emotions.

"Oh Tory. Pleasant to see you this morning. I see you have brought Nikki a nice little, I mean big, snack. Such snack can make Nikki not fit her costume." Mom said in a sarcastic tone.

"Mom stop! I really missed when you didn't talk to me! Tory is just helping me get over your attitude!" Oh wow! Did I just say that? I felt bad instantly. "Mom, I, I didn't mean...." My voice trailed off.

Mom just walked out the front door. She said nothing. She obviously looked hurt at what I said. She kept on walking until she was in her car and drove away.

It's been two months and the only conversation that is going on between mom and me is, "Can you pass the mustard?" My mom goes into her room every night at 7:00. She ignores me and I ignore her. That's how it's going. I've tried the car accident scene several more times, but nothing is working. The World War 3 between mom and me doesn't help. It has made me even more stiff. So much that the director had to pull me aside. UH OH!!!

"Okay, Nikki. This has gone on too long. I've given you too many chances for this scene. I thought you had potential. However, this isn't working. I'm sorry but your..."

Oh no! Don't say it. Don't say it.

"....fired."


 * Section 3**


 * Bam!** It was like a knife wound in the heart. Why did they do this to me? Well, technically I know why, but it still stinks! I hate my life. I don't even have a mother who will comfort me and tell me everything is okay. Even if we weren't in a huge fight, she still wouldn't! She cares more about the money I get from this job than my happiness. However, fighting or not, I still have to call my mom to pick me up and tell her the //news.// So I did. (Sniffle, Sniffle for me) My mom drove up to the curb. I opened the door. Got in. Closed the door and prepared for World War 4.

"Mom, I lost my job," I said, talking so low that even //I// couldn't hear me.

"I'm sorry, what did you say?" Mom said this in her sarcastic tone she does so well. ARRGGHHH!!!!! Why is she making this so hard?

"I lost my job." This time I said it a little bit louder, however, with my clenched teeth you couldn't understand what I was saying.

"You're going to have to speak much louder. I can't hear a word you are saying." More sarcasm. But this time, I lost it.

"I lost my job, okay." I screamed so loud that people outside of the car could hear. "And I just need a mom who will accept me for who I am. Someone who will accept that I eat ice cream when I'm depressed and that I bite my nails and... and...." Just then, the dam between my eyes and my tears, broke. For the first time in one whole year, I cried. I cried and cried and cried until I had a puddle of my tears at my feet. I cried like no one has cried before but I didn't care. My face was so red and so wet that I looked like a clown. But you know what? It felt so good. It felt good to just let my tears flow. I've never had a sensitive personality, but someone looking at me would have thought so. I guess my crying was contagious because my mom started to cry, too. We looked like two lunatics crying our heads off. But at that moment, I could care less what people thought of me. My mom got out of the car and went to the passenger seat where I was. She opened my door and grasped me in a warm hug. It was relief. Relief that we would end this fight. I needed someone to take me in their arms and just hold me. Then she looked into my eyes, right into my eyes and said, "I'm so sorry." That's all she said but that was good enough for me. We stayed there in that exact same position until drivers honked at us for being in the middle of the road.


 * Epilogue**

"Are you sure you want to do this?" my mom asked.

"Positive," I said. It's been another two months. Over that two months, I've collected myself together from that depressed nervous wreck I was before. Mom and I are spending any little free time we have together to regain the strength our relationship had. She respects me for who I am now and lets me do what //I// want. It's been going really well. We got in the car to go to our destination; the studio. I am going to do the crying scene again. Now, I don't want the job back, but I do want to prove something to myself. I want to prove that I can get over my fear of what happened to dad. I opened the door and walked in. The director saw me.

"Oh, Nikki, didn't I tell you not to come back?" The director muttered the last part under hs breath.

"Yes, you did," I said with loads of confidence. "but I need to prove to myself that I can do this scene if I ever want to act again. So, Sam, turn down the lights. Bill, start the sound effects. Jeff, get the camera rolling." I started barking orders. Surprisingly, they all listened to me. I believe that they respect me more because of my confidence. "And Phil, (the director) prepare to be amazed."

"He's gone. My best friend in the entire world is gone." I sniffled. So far so good. "He walked out into the street carelessly when a screeching car came by." More sniffling. "I ran toward him in what seemed to be slow motion. I screamed so loudly for help, but no one came." Come on tears! "Drew was the person who got me to wake up every morning. He was always good to me." Then the tears started to come. "I loved him."

YES!!!!! I did it! I cried! I felt like I won the lottery, but in the acting world. I felt like I could do anything!! Everything seems perfect now. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw my mom give me a huge smile and a wink. "Thank you," I whispered to myself. "Thank you."